January 2009
550 posts
“Jack, next time you get a bright idea, just put it in a memo!”
– Jack Ryan, Hunt for Red October
“I said ‘speak your mind,’ Jack, but Jesus!”
– Admiral Greer, Hunt for Red October
Terrorist: That is a woman's logic. You get what you want; what do I get?
Lt.Col. MacKenzie: You get to live.
Gen. Cresswell: Consider it a vote of confidence.
Lt.Col. MacKenzie: I consider it a plague of locusts, sir.
“It felt like I was stuck in a hyper-reality where Douglas Coupland wrote...”
– First person: ‘My husband’s Facebook sex led to divorce’ | Life and style | guardian.co.uk (via VBBeachBum)
Harry Potter sucks
Just had to get that off my chest.
Emma Watson is the only good thing related to that unfortunate series of books and movies.
Fuck PMS and menstrual cramps.
johncody:
skysignal:
TMI? I don’t give a rat’s ass.
Women
EPIC FAIL
Men
FTW!
“Whatever you call Iraq… it’s happening. And it’s not gonna...”
– General Cresswell, JAG
“My official position is to enforce the law as enacted by congress, Senator. But,...”
– General Cresswell, JAG
“All you need is a video camera and a healthy libido. Grab a tripod to avoid...”
– “Make your own porno: Reasons winter doesn’t have to suck.” (Via) (via anonymousghostwriter)
“If salami is the blog of cured meats, then prosciutto is the great novel.”
– With Salt and Patience, an Iowa Couple Makes World-Class Prosciutto - NYTimes.com
Huh. Not sure what I think of that line, either as an analogy or prose. It’s striking, no doubt, but maybe I’m just not there yet thinking you can just go around using the word “blog” like that. Like, sure maybe, but...
“I never liked to kick a man when he’s about to make an ass of himself...”
– Some Admiral, JAG
cardinals
realrealsoft:
ARIZONA
I think you’re the only person I know of who even mentions their existence right now.
Another reason why everyone thinks you’re awesome.
awesome.
natface:
littleorphanammo:
“Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think im gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML”
from FuckMyLife
I am astonished by how quickly I became obsessed with this. FML
“Then I had my first kid and I’m thinking, man, I can’t have all...”
– Dave Tate
Beastiality
Me: "Any dog will bite if you fucking kick it hard enough."
Shaun: ...I just missed "kick."
Shaun: "Any dog will bite if you're fucking it hard enough."
This is me.
smashley:
I am one of the most confident people you will meet. this masks paralyzing self doubt and anxiety about everything that has ever happened
I am the life of the party because I am worried that if I’m not, you will forget about me
I have everything under control my life is spiraling out of control
I graduated with honors from high school I mostly failed out of university
I blame...
DON'T DRINK YOUR CALORIES
whatcriscilikes:
I think the purpose of Vitamin water is to replenish dehydration, which is why it was originally marketed as a sports drink and now used predominately to cure hangovers.
I am not a fan myself, but it is important to note the uses of Vitamin water in order to offer reasonable replacements. Out of your four suggested alternatives, only 1 actually might replace Vitamin water...
((rereblogged with the caveat that I am in no way,...
Natasha: zooey deschanel looks like she couldn't take a good fuck
that's why i support the mandy moore resurgence movement
she totally can
“Our nation’s current organ donation system relies on altruism alone. A regime of...”
– When Altruism Isn’t Moral — The American (via josephweisenthal)
“Our president’s approval rating is somewhere between pictures of baby pandas on...”
– Maddow (via uoma, lyndseydyan, avocadosalad, smalltowngayblog) (via mandalay) (via brianvan)
GIRLS
realrealsoft:
FACT
you + tight-ish metallica t-shirt + bar = you get laid
Uh, as far as girls go, it’s more like:
you = you get laid